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$1.75


If I had a nickel for every time I'd done you wrong
I'd still be the poorest man alive
Money's not worth much
if you don't have anyone to share it with
and having a nice house
Isn't the same as having a home
because if home is where the heart is
then, by rights, I should be living in rubble
Who knew that by hurting you
I'd be breaking my own heart?

I guess you.

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




(19)


"It's raining." you say,
startling me out of my thoughts.
"I mean, it looks like it's going to rain."
but I've got my own clouds in my head.
Do you even realize how close to tears I am?
You must, or you wouldn't be cutting this so short.
Would you?
Don't get me wrong.
I'm not mad.
I'm not asking for sympathy.
But some of us are born fucked up.
You were just born lucky.
Guess I'm just envious, is all.
I'm confused.
I'm scared.
And I'm alone.
And the best friends I have
live right next door,
miles away from where I am in my life.
And the only thing that matters to me
is just so far away.
I'm losing my mind, you see
I'm breaking into pieces
My whole world is falling apart
"It looks like it's going to rain." you say,
but for me, the raining's already begun.

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




4TH GRADE QUESTIONNAIRE


How do you feel?
I stare into the mirror
Seeing the monster that I have been
And the man I've yet to become
With your help

Are you happy?
The way I've treated you
Has been mostly good
But the times when I've been wrong
I didn't realize until too late

Is everything okay?
I know the doubts are mine alone
Because I want to make you happy
And not have you stay only because
I say I never want you to leave

Do you love me?
Because I'm sure I want this to last
For better or for worse
In sickness and in health
Until death do us part

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




ABANDONED

I remember a time when you couldn't sleep unless I was with you
but it seems that time is gone
All I have now is silence and echoes
You may not be talking to me
but your voice lives inside my mind
How like you
to not even have a PHD in medicine
and still can get inside my head
You cut me
but it's all flesh wounds and teeth marks
that whirl around me like a tornado
leaving me confused and alone

You sleep fine by yourself now
so I suppose you don't really need me for anything
You used to talk about how I smiled, how I laughed
But you never see me
and you never call
Even if those things still existed
you wouldn't be around to see
If this game of silence is your way of saying goodbye
then maybe you'd better brush up on your English
These echoes speak of lies, deception, betrayal
and I don't want to believe them
But I've got no other voices in my head
Just yours


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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




ADOLESCENCE


Always the victim
same old routine
fake it to all the others
everyone but me
I can't do a thing
without parental permission
As long as you keep telling me this is truth
I'll keep listening

We're just cigarette smoking kids
catching Emphysema
Making love with lies
War is coming soon
send me off to die
Want to follow in our father's steps
Flags flying high
Never asking
Is this right?
It's okay to slaughter children
when children do your dirty work
Doesn't work for me though
I know what I'm worth

We're just foolish kids
falling in love
with everyone who gives a damn about us
We're just lovestruck kids,
Echoes of your past.

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




AFFIRMATION


Wash the doubt away for me
I don't seem to be able
I'm split in two on this one
one half says I shouldn't wait
the other knows I can't live without you
and I've waited longer before
though never for a prize so grand
And I can make it through
this long road ahead
However many miles it may be
I can make it
As long as I remember
what's waiting for me at the end
As long as I remember
not to let the hardships get the best of me
As long as I remember
that you love me

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




AFFIRMATION˛


I thought for a second
maybe you're not the one for me
should I take that chance?
Risk you behind your back?
Risk myself in front of you?
Indescision always stings
those who touch it
and the purple
swelling wound is spreading
sending poison from my brain
The fruit of knowledge
never tasted this ripe before...
So now I that know these feelings of doubt are false
I have one last request:
Drag me back from the depths of hell
One
Last
Time

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




AGAINST ALL ODDS


The velvet touch of your tongue
The smooth silk of your skin
A magic moment shared
I know what you want to say
just don't
Not yet
Let your kisses speak for themselves
because I already understand
But now is not the time for sacred words to be spoken
Against all odds
This forbidden moment prevails...

Let me hold you against my skin
until the dawn
and never let the words get in the way
of this

Love

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




Ambrosia


I don't know what it is about you
That fills me so completely
Like a cold glass of water
Refreshes me like a cool breeze in the desert
Makes me feel like I can do anything
Even on the point of giving up

You're better than ambrosia
Your magic stronger than dreams
When I'm broken down near dissolution
All I need is hearing your voice
And it revives my soul

Days away and lonely
You make me feel better than anything I've ever felt
If I could package this feeling
I'd be selfish and keep it to myself
This is what love should feel like
And sharing your love
Is better than ambrosia

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




A LETTER NEVER SENT


I haven't seen you in a while
How have you been?
Things are okay with me
No, wait, that's a lie
My life is falling apart
Remember back then?
Before you lost your will to live
life like it was meant to be...
We used to play war
We used to play bored
I miss that time.
I'm sorry I let a girl get between us
I'm marrying her now, you know
Everyone else says she's wrong for me.
I remember what you said:
"You're gonna marry her someday."
My friends now don't know me like you did
Sometimes I think
maybe if I'd stuck around
You'd still be okay
You'd still be yourself
but by the time you asked for help
It was already too late for us
you had changed too much
and my parents had it on for you already...
I remember we used to have big plans
Get an apartment
Work on our music
I'd sing
You'd play guitar
I was learning bass.
Those were good times...
Back to now
I said my life is falling apart
I guess it's not, really
I've got a plan
It's 4 years long
and comes with benefits
It's a tough journey though
and I still have to make it
through the new year
It's tough times right now.
The snowfall makes me remember something else you said
"Winter makes it harsh and cold"
Just wanted to tell you
You were right about that
And one last thing
I miss you.

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




AMPUTATION


I eat pigeon skin to stay alive
Because the shit you're feeding
Doesn't sit right with me

So you stand like the king of the hill
And you won't come down until you've had your fill
And after you're done with that
You'll come to take what's left of me

You raped my soul to the point where it shattered
But I surprised you by having something more
And I showed you that I can still fight back

You beat me down, again and again
But I still stand up
And I take it on the chin

You think this will be over
When I let you win
It's not going to happen
And I would kill you first

Maybe there's another way though,
If I walk away,
And never look back.

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




A MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING


They say "It's news to me."
but they don't look me in the eye
not hard to see inside their gaze
they've been telling me these lies
hard to break the chain of thought
makes me want to despise
the whole damn thing
I'm so fed up
makes it hard to want to try
So we shake hands and say "So long."
when what we really mean is goodbye
I know I won't be missed
but they still tell themselves
on Sunday eves
That kid never compromised.

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




ANGEL/DEVIL

It's late. I can't sleep
resurrect the evil in me
all the things I did to you
and the truth, how I never felt bad about it
These poignant moments
where I wish I could be better
seem more like a recessive trait
than the way I fake it's dominance
As I look through your pictures
I want to burst into tears
Knowing how I've played with your mind
and how I've faked it as unintentional
which is true, to a degree
But some part deep inside
is always happy to see
you crying
us dying
me lying
to you
And I guess it's angel/devil for
me and you
But while I'm here, for a few short
moments more
I want you to know
I hope you win


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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




APOLOGY POEM


I hate it when you're right
and I hate it when I'm wrong
and it happens all the time
like clockwork, it gets old

and these useless excuses
falling in and out of step
never really make up for
things I'm too proud to accept

If I just sit in anger
will this resolve itself
or will the sounds of silence
set our love upon the shelf
I take some time alone
thing about how wrong I am
I just wish you'd please forgive me
sometimes, I'm such an ass

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




A RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE


As I look through stained black
windows into your eyes
and everything that comes from your
mouth tastes like tar
as you speak to us of doves flying
and a 20 minute holy time
so symbolic a picture
and so perfect and full of prose
so this is what it sounds like when doves fly
then they fall
and the silence is deafening as you fill me up
with this great nothingness
but inside shows us what we are
so does that make you nothing?
because I believe in myself
and I respect your ideals
so forgive me for saying
as is the custom
you really need to stay away
from that acid that has eaten you
away to make you the hollow shell
that is talking to me

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




ARMY OF DREAMS


6 by 6 they march, the army of dreams
(to the dreamers dismay)
dreams that turn to nightmares, and tear apart at the seams

armed in Darklight cloaks
bearing bone-saw swords
marching side by side
thousands upon thousands
set in rows of six
they march toward holy sanctuary
their gleeful smiles showing destruction
reflected in their gold-rotting teeth
and they march
in my mind
riding on spiders
with large hooded backs
climbing up the walls
spinning webs
and destroying my castle
every night
endlessly
until I wake up
sweating
screaming
realizing
I was
dreaming

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




A SPEECH TO THE BOSS


So, Boss, I was thinking
I'd like to take over
The project at hand.
I've got some new ideas
And some new spins on old ideas
All I feel is one headache
(One heartache)
Over and over
Again and again
And I know
About before
How I botched things up,
And you had to run
But I'm older
And I really think
That I could do better.
Maybe I'm wrong
And things are going good
But I remember
Things went so well
The first time until
I lost control
And I know we've talked about this before,
And that you have considered putting me back in charge
But the timing was off and I'd really (LOVE) to help
So please,
I know it's up to you ultimately
but please,
Can I have your permission
For a second chance?

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




ATTEMPT AT GETTING OVER YOU

I'll pretend to move on
let got of this
because I know I can't
that it's not caught in my grip,
but the other way around
I'll try and move on
I'll try and hold on
You only think you know how easy it is
You don't know me
And if I say I'm weak
what am I admitting?
I'm not as good as you
I may never be
Stop trying to make me compete with myself
because I'm tired of losing you


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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




Being Away From You


Missing you
Leaving 4 or 5 Messages a day
Waiting by the phone
Thinking what to say
When you call me back
Running conversations through my head
Eventual outcomes
Leave me wondering
Don't know what I did
Why I'm treated this way
You said we'd be forgiven
You said you'd always stay
All the things I worry about
Playing through my head
Long distance
Phone call
Is everything I need
Where in my heart
Can I find the strength to do this again?

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




A Willingness To Obey


I've never really been into addiction
Too many people I've known have fallen too deep
Couldn't dig themselves out of their holes
they would fly for a while
then eventually fall
the hitting the ground always seemed to be the hardest part

I've never been able to fly
I've never had the capacity for wings
and every time I tried, I fell
crawling back from my defeat
was harder every time

I never thought I'd be here
When I woke up next to you
and realized you were my wings
I've found my addiction
and all I need now is just one more fix
the sight, the touch, the smell
I will gladly lose myself
inside of you
the prison of your heart
is infinitely more majestic than freedom

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




BELLY UP


For all the swimming I've done to get out of this fishtank,
I'm still just a bottom feeder.
I still pick up my bits of food from the gravel.
As all the other fish swim around me,
some in their nice suits and ties,
I wish I could get a handle on my life.
I wish I could get a handhold to pull myself up from this station.
And as much as I've promised,
and as much as I've said that I had,
when it comes down to it,
neither of us own this aquarium,
and sometimes I just wish I could turn belly up on the outside,
to match the feelings of what's going on inside.

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




BIG SHOT


You need to get over yourself,
And leave me alone
You think by telling me how much of a loser I am,
You can redeem yourself in someone else's eyes
The problem isn't me,
It lies within you
Some shielded place,
Where the natives attack with spears,
What they don't understand
This goes on inside of you,
Manifests in your conversations with me
And while I think you're a good person,
There's something wrong,
You need to face it
You need to understand
What it is inside of you,
That makes you hate me so much,
Your only friend

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




BREAKDOWN


Hey, guess who's fucked.
It's me.
After everything that's happened to me,
Yes, I'm fucked. Again.
Not like I shouldn't have expected to be fucked.
Again.
After everything that's happened I should have known,
That' I'd be fucked. Again.
While you sit there watching, laughing in your car...
Yes, I'm fucked...
All over again.

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




BROKEN


I'm so young, he thinks
But these questions muddle my mind
With a constant barrage of doubt
And although I'm not confused by what I want,
I'm scared of it's novelty

The chance of a new life
At the price of walking it blindly
Or
The same life as always
With the sacrifice of Hope

To shoot among the stars and supernova
Or
To be a gazer and be hit by a meteor

Hope's been broken
So many times,
Can it be resurrected?
Or am I doomed
To stay broken,
Among the shoals?

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




CAUGHT IN A MOMENT


My eyes become starlet
Pieces of Ice-Fire in deep hollow sockets
I feel like a battlefield must
On the eve after the fighting is over
By this assault of colors
My ears become deaf
Sound fades away
Like there are no people or cars anymore
Even here, in the middle of Suburbia
I become small
As my body grows distant
Insignificant to what's going on around me
Suddenly, there's a whole other world
Inside of this one
And nothing seems to matter
Save the color of the trees
or the clouds in the sky
The quiver of the grass blades
The caw of the birds
The chirping of the cricket
And then it's gone
And it flees from my mind
Like shadows shy from light

I continue with my day
Never realizing
That I was caught in the moment

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




CLARENCE


Clarence works as a janitor
He works the late night shifts only
After everyone else goes home
He's all by himself
Sometimes, he talks to himself
When his shift ends
he goes to the train station
He gets there around eight
He spends the next six hours
watching people
as they get on the different trains
He knows all the numbers
by heart
Number 43 goes uptown
Number 8 goes to the bar
Number 67 goes to center city
and everyone on that bus has
a suit and tie
a briefcase
and a cigar
Number 44 goes to 8th street
that's where the stores
like Tiffany's are
Number 92 goes to the corner of
Nice-House Street
and Good-Family Boulevard
and number 95 goes to Hollywood.
The station slows down
at about 2 o'clock.
There's only one train after two
and the people who all missed number 95
rush out to try and catch it at the next stop
But most are back the next day
The station is empty now
At 2:16, train number 19 rolls into the station
Clarence knows this train.
It's been his since
the day he was old enough
to ride
and he is the only person who ever rides it
It takes him directly to his home,
where he cooks up a microwave dinner
and watches TV until he falls asleep
Every day
at 2:16
Clarence climbs aboard his train,
number 19
He sits down in a seat in the back
just in case anyone else
ever comes aboard
Even though no one ever has
He looks out the window
and watches as the station
fill back up with people
waiting to take the next train
57 for fame,
85 for fortune,
31 for success...

Clarence makes no noise
as the train rumbles off
Into the night

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




CONFUSED & ALONE


A single hair
out of place
trace the contour
of your face
Here and now
in time and space
you left me here
without a trace

I cannot tell
How close we are
You left me here
Are you near or far?
I kept my heart
In a mason jar
I'm waiting for your coming back
I'm not sure you are

Kill myself slowly
Because it's hard to face the fact
I don't know why you left me
Don't know why you would come back
But you seemed to have it planned
ticket in hand for the train on the track
Sometimes it makes me wonder
If your love was just an act

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




COOKIE CUTTER


Cookie cutter
Cut me apart
Until I fit into your world
Is it so static?
Final?
I can bend
but you tried to break me
Then ran away
When I screamed out in pain
Seems the closer I get to your idea of perfection
The farther you push me away
I'm getting the idea that you're confused
Stop listening to the ideas of the world
of how love should be
Interpret the feelings in your heart
Follow yourself
No one is supposed to live your life but you

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




Co-Processor Dependance


My reliance on you has become such a bore
Eternally waiting for something more
To drop in or show up or knock on the door
But it doesn't seem to come, I'm wondering for
What reason do I hold out, why do I endure
And follow in this path cut into the floor
I'm walking in cricles, and my feet are getting sore
I'm choking on air filled with viral spores
I'm tiring of my dependance on your
Attractive qualities, like some kind of whore
I need to break myself away from you, or
Find some other way to live my life
Once I figure out what I'm living it for

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




CROSSING THE THIN LINE

I stand to face you
my multi-critical enemy
Nothing feels the same
since your icy grip
I've been bled to the bone
to please you
I can't do this
maybe I should
move away
Take the easy way out

Finally here and gone
I don't feel like
these meteors make an impact
I said I'd come to save you
until you turned out to be an angel
then damned me
so I'd have someone to save

I can't leave you alone
possessed
obsessed
confused
confessed
to this test
I'll try my best
and never rest
until I have it your way


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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




CRUSHING ASPECT OF LOVE


Do you not know your own worth?
why do you accept such failure
when I once made you so happy
I must have destroyed you
for now you accept ruin on my behalf
and convincing you to give up
is a worthwhile task
but useless and futile
for forgiveness is a virtue you were taught long ago
what is love
is it the enduring of pain and suffering
or the want of something more
that maybe we can never give each other
thus far, I've loved twice
and regretted neither
but it pains me to see you thus
being hurt
hurting
all for the sake of something that does not exist between you
you may love him
but you are not in love
and he may love you back
but you can do better
you always could
I was your first, remember
Love someone who honors my memory
love someone who does you justice
stop hurting yourself
by letting him control you
set yourself free.

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




CRY FOR THE UNHOLY


I promised you my love
Forever
I promised myself not to make you endure
Who does my honor owe to now?
I tripped on my heart when I thought with my head
I used a stapler to close the gash in my soul
My blood now runs
Out 8 smooth holes
I bathe in the pool
I'm a nice shade of red.

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




CRYSTAL BALL


The more I turn this over in my mind
the more cracks I find in it's structure
Tiny imperfections
that could have caused it to shatter
perhaps a flaw in it's design
or a mistake by the creator
who discarded us in an attempt
to find something more stable
more sure
but without heart
The more I think about it
The less I think I know
and it unravels in my skull
as it unravels my mind
just one long string of gray matter
and in the end
it really doesn't matter why it happened
Because no matter what the cause
the effect was that we shattered
just like glass

In the end
we just have to figure out
how to pick up the pieces
without cutting ourselves too much

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




DEATHLY MUTATION


Let the deathly earth vibe
flow through me
transform me
My mind spikes
and my back shivers
Can you feel it?
There
Wings
Long, bone-like
razor sharp points
like crags in a mountain
tip long, leathery
instruments of the air
As I scribe my thoughts
into the night sky
Death has never felt more like life
and life, death

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




DELIRIUM

Oh, muddled stream
disturbed by epileptic fish thrashing about
They've turned a clear river of thought
into a jumble of confusion
I'm burning up on the outside, freezing
melting down on the inside
I can't communicate with any of you
because my words get lost between their origin and my mouth
Sad, sickening silence surrounds me
cultured by too much exposure to the elements
I'd fix myself
but I'm not worth the trouble

You made that clear a long time ago

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




DESCRIPTION


The strangling breeze
carries on it only sorrow
Was it not yesterday
that I thought about life
and how peace is so boring?
But I'm scared, Mom.
What if they want me to fight?
What if I want me to fight?
What if it doesn't matter
how I spend the rest of my time?
Because war is coming,
if only in our minds

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




DIFFERENT SHADES OF BLACK


Out of one form of darkness
and into another
Whereas you were honest about your lies;
I always knew what side of the manipulation I was on
I thought I was escaping
not running further into heartache
She pretended to love me because she thought I might be an easy way out
So, as a test
I made things hard for her
and drove her away
but my eyes aren't used to this light of truth
and it stings and burns like acid
to finally see how blind I've been
I'm not used to hearing truth
And as glad as I am to not be living amidst a sea of lies anymore
I miss the darkness
because the truth never told me what I wanted to hear

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




DISTEMPERED IMPURITY


Holding you in my lap
As you lay crying
Over the loss of life
"It was just an accident..."
You attempt to justify
and I agree
but it never changed in your eyes
Maybe if you had driven a little slower
Paid more attention to the road
Maybe this is your punishment
For having a good time for once
I hold your shaking body in my arms
Stroke your soft hair
Do anything I can to make you feel better
Knowing nothing I can do will help
Trying my best
To fill the void in your heart
That comes from a shattered faith

You'll never know how much it hurt
To know that I was never enough

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




DOUBLE SUICIDE


I killed myself twice today
the first time was for you
all the perfect moments we shared
all the good times we had
all those magical nights
all the good times gone
I know I'll never get you back
but it won't stop me from trying
when we died
I knew a part of me was dying
I just finished the job today
miraculously, I was still alive
so I killed myself again
you changed without me
I just stayed the same
waiting for you
to come back into my life
but you never will
I can't forget you
I can't move on
you were so much a part of me
I killed myself twice today
the first time was for you
the second time was for myself

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




EMERALD ENVY


I was perfect for a moment
Frozen in time
Not demanding anything from you
Just being myself
and letting you be who you always told me you were
But somehow, I ignored that
and I'm trying hard to stop
the feelings of jealousy I get
when someone else makes you smile

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




EMOTIONAL SUCTION


You've got all these things to do
While I just sit around thinking about you
It bothers me
and at first I couldn't see why
I live my life alone
it's so much pressure on you
it's forced us apart
I'm so sorry
and it's funny that the thing I have to do
is to get over you
and this will save our love
I wish I could just be with you
spend day and night with you
make every action I take about you
but I can't
I have to live my own life
and hopefully have you when I can
I hope you can wait for me

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




ENDALL


You can't answer my whys
I'm not sure anymore
whether or not you're
worth the try
I was unsure of you;
unclear intentions
like muddy water streams
and never any answers
What can I say?
Keeping a connection alive
never seemed this important before
The last hanging thread of skin
from a severed off limb I used to remember having
But now it just hurts to think about
There's nothing more to think about
It's over and done with with you
I'm done with you
Can you hear me?
Lying awake
Praying to God
Trying to get help sorting out your life
I'm done with you
It's over
It's done with
There's nothing more to think about
This is over...

Find me when you want to come crawling back
You can follow my footprints
fading in the sands of time
as I walk away from this

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




EPIPHANY


Not understanding
It's just what I'm good at
And I can't understand why I keep falling into this
steel-mesh wire traps
with teeth like razor-sharp jaws
beckoning me into their world
and you keep tearing me apart inside
the same evil soul
with a different body to inherit
And, Oh, how I'd like it to end
to send you, flaming
back into the depths
of where you came from
But you make me feel so alive.
This burning is fire
is life
is dying
is feeling
is something
I cannot deny
and the more I try and fight
the weaker I become
entranced with your venom
slowly poisoning me
caught in your spiderweb of something
unlike love
I am a fly
and as your fangs sink in
infecting me
draining my blood
taking the last of my mind with the last drops
I understand a little

And then I die again

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




EVACUATION


This feeling settles on me
like a cloud of dust
makes me feel dry
dirty
makes me feel tired
clogs my pores
the fresh air around me
turns to chalky white mist
and I can't breathe

My eyes feel dry and bitter
like burnt out lightbulbs
or one of those nights
where the darkness is always too dark
and the lights are always too bright
it hurts my eyes
but I refuse to see anymore
of this madness
I want to shut my eyes
and go to sleep
and hope I never wake up

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




EVOLUTION OF FAITH


I found a heart-shaped leaf today
on the ground
it stood out among the rest
and I just noticed it
I picked it up and
it made me think of you
It's the kind of thing you'd like

I saw your book in my car today
picked it up
and half the pages fell out
As I was putting them back in order
it made me think of you
You've been reading it forever
and you're still not finished

I saw your picture in my wallet today
the edges faded and folding over
I took it out and read the inscription on the back
Never burn bridges... ours must be made out of titanium
it made me think of you
I know you think it's horrible
But I still think you're beautiful

I saw a couple walking hand in hand today
while I was sitting on a park bench
taking a time-out from the world
it made me think of you
made me think of how soft your hands are
how perfectly they fit into mine
I miss your touch

When they were all gone
I realized that I was sitting all alone
A month ago I would've wondered
"Is she thinking about me too?"
I don't wonder that any more
I know you are

It makes me miss you even more

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




EYE IN THE DARKNESS


Enveloped in darkness
Stamped, sealed with blood
The darkness never-ending
The path before me broken
Shattered cobblestone
Insects crawl on my skin
I scratch my face
Peel away
Reveal my soul
Every day
But no one listens
No one sees
What goes on
Inside of me
I can't sleep
Not insomnia
But something close
Like a misplaced hair
bothers the nerves
Smoke 2 packs a day
just to take away the hurt
Early morning
Start the day
Work the same lame job
for shitty pay
And someday I'll make it
out of this pit
but for now
The only piece of mind
Is seeing your face

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




FADED


You can tell she is old
Even though she tries
The sweaters she wears
Do not hide her sagging breasts
And her curly permed hair
Doesn't hide the wrinkles
No matter how much make-up she wears
Why do we deny our age?
Does the worth of others
Reflect the worth of ourselves?

For
If a poem is a picture,
described with the words
one is too kind to say aloud,
only read,
Then it is not a thousand words
that a picture is worth.
It is a thousand poems

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




FAITH IN FATE


I'm fighting doubt
ever ticking second that goes by
Because I don't know what I can trust
or maybe I have no faith
and if that's the case
Is my past any excuse not to believe?
Regardless of doubt,
which may only exist to counter this force
I feel coming off of you,
I believe in us
and I don't know how that can be
I only know that while part of me is telling me to let this go
my heart wants me to follow through
and follow you
but I can't
I have to let this go
I have to let you go
Because
If I'm truly going to believe in fate
then I have to accept that you might not come back
Don't I?

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




FALLEN OUT OF LOVE


I'm waiting for you to call again
happens all the time
it's been two weeks since we last talked
and I'm feeling kind of sad
I know you'll never call
but I can only wonder why
you say you're always busy
but how important am I if you can never make some time?
You know I'll sit here waiting
feeling nervous
biting nails
until I get the nerve to call you
maybe leave another message
that you'll listen to
then delete
I'll just keep on sitting here
I'm so hung up on you
I'm not sure it's healthy
I want you to call me
show me that you care
but I can't make you do that
and asking you to call me
isn't something I'm going to do

There are some things that are only important when you don't have to ask for them

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




Fallen Snow Angel


Silent snowfall
prepares to kill
lie dormant
in waiting
perfection in concealment
a fun time
bullet hole through a snowman's brain
red icicle blood
stains the snow angels wings
in the imprint of her fallen mark

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




FIELD OF DAISIES


Regret burns
Soft, slow
Like a low fire
but gives no warmth
Heated guilt
Rises like warm air
and dries out my mouth
Before I can open it
to let the words out
or the shame in
and I suppose that I'm lucky
because I can take back these things for now
Let it be so
That I can take back these things
For now...

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




FOR A PRINCESS


You set my heart on fire last night,
with a love that will burn forever.
And as I'm engulfed,
I ask myself:
How I ever lived without your warmth.
And every day's a window,
looking into a beautiful face.
Flowers and berries, a warm sunset,
makes the dark corners of my heart disappear.
For a short while, but they still live on.
Can you accept the evil within?
I've come to live with it for so long.
It has become part of who I am.
And I never ran, only backed away
until I had a better idea
of how to open the window without breaking it.
One day you came to me,
opened my eyes and showed me.
The window was never there at all.
And the chains that held me back,
were all in our minds.
You took my hand, led me into your garden.
And now, like it or not.
I'm never leaving the warmth of your love.

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




FRUIT FLY


You fly around me
agitate
Land near blood
enervate
Crawl around
under my watchful eye
You have not done anything
to incite me
You, the innocent victim of my insecurities
You carefully navigate your way
to the edge of your world
then fly away
It is for the best

I would have killed you.

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




GIVING UP


A simple promise
Observed
Why can't you say I'm sorry?
I guess I'll never learn
I'll come crawling back
again and again
over and over
and All I want is to see you,
but you're so unyielding
I just want you to tell me that it's all okay without that hollow sound in your voice
I just want you to accept my apologies without batting your eyes
I just want this to be a mutual understanding,
and not be the only one who feels like shit after the conversation has gotten too sharp for our soft hands
I just want some kind of sign from you
Just tell me that we're okay
Just make some move to ensure that this doesn't fall away...
Because I'm tired of playing the hero.

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




Guided Strike


A rose never looked as sweet as you
Beautiful red, a droplet of dew
on the leaf like a crystal within
a freshet of blood
And your thorns are scars
of things that cut
so much deeper
... so much deeper

These wounds are psychological
there is no dressing for a
break in the mind
it just sits in a fracture
a sling, stuck in a position
where progress is impossible
but the inevitable regression
has not yet begun

In your infallibility
I find a way to fall anyway
first forward, then back
bouncing off the belief that this is right
and the fear that I could be wrong
A perfect balance, an epiphany
an aperture, an apex
A precipice
... And I'm about to fall
for better or for worse

Back into your garden
Just watch out for the thorns

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




HAPPY BIRTHDAY




I remember a time when you used to love me
on days like this
When things between us were better
have we changed so much that our love isn't important?
or maybe we just need this time to be selfish
aloof
I know one day we can be together
but it's a choice I want you to make
because,
dear god
I love you
and there's nothing I wouldn't do to make you happy
and I think back to those days
driving around
in a broke down car
with the wind at our backs
and the world ahead
how everything seemed so perfect
just like us
and if all I ever have of you again is those memories
it will have to suffice
because I have to live my life without you
but I'll still become the man you wanted
We're not so different after all
you picked up the broken pieces of me
and showed me a better way
You made me see that I didn't have to accept mediocrity for myself
I am a better person for knowing you
You made me want better than what I had in life
I love you

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




HEAD INJURY


I'm going to sleep now
but my head hurts badly
I might have a concussion
my typing is bad
and my thoughts are erratic
I might go into a coma
If I don't wake up for ten years
will you forget me
Will you move on
because I'm just a shell
Hollow and empty
consider it a cocoon
except I'm no butterfly
I'm not sure I'd wait for you
if our situations were reversed
I might wake up tomorrow
I might never wake again
but I can't feel my fingers
maybe I'm starting to disappear
if you don't believe in me anymore
I might just fade away
like Tinkerbell
so clap your hands for me
and pray
and please
don't forget me

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




HIDDEN ENEMY


In the days afterward
it's hard to be happy
the flags flying high
and the candle-lit vigil
seems to take everyones mind off the subject at hand
except mine
I feel betrayed
and the cold outside
mirrors the cold I feel in me
standing next to a fire
for the victims
doesn't even warm me
this is no place for friendliness
in here
laughter is forbidden
and every genuine smile
is just another accomplice
to the evil
that stands by
waiting
for our guard to drop again

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




HIGHWAY DRIVING


These highways seem so lonely
I say with tears in my eyes
This hollow creeping feeling
that eats me up inside
And you sit standby watching
as I drive into the night

Maybe because we're older, these words don't seem so much
and we forget the time talking
and falling out of touch
but times been on our side so far
and hell, we've had enough

But these highways seem so lonely
and even though you're near
I blink back my eyelids
and wipe away my tears
Because highways don't have partners
to help them with their fears
And maybe things will work out
it just takes a couple years

And maybe things will turn out grand
We're still wet behind the ears
We have some time to build it up
and work on our careers
In the end we'll be okay
and right now
We don't have time for tears

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




HOURGLASS


Time to choose
Time to decide
Time to tell your soul
Where it's been going
All these years
Time to play your hand
Time to call the draw
Time to tell everyone
What you've been planning
Time to make your move
Time to face your fears
Time to move on
And hurry up
Before you drown
In the gathering sands
Of Time

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




ICEPICK


Stepped over the line
You brought down an emotional ice-pick
to this forbidden glacier
I thought this was all for fun
but no
You're looking for something more
These incinerator eyes can't lie
Telling you a million reasons I don't want to go there
I thought it was black and white
Spelled out like letters on a board
My refusal to go there
but some people never learn
So excuse me if I'm edgy
If I cut to fierce for you to bear
but when I said I never wanted
I meant I didn't want you there

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




ICICLES


Let me paint a picture for you;
The perfect azure skies
So you can set it all aflame;
with the fire in your eyes

Let me make the perfect sailboat
and sail it through the mists
So you can splinter the hull
with the fury in your fists

Let me build the perfect snowman
like some lost American art
so you can stab it to death
with the icicles in your heart

Then,

Let me dig a lake for you
Under the perfect skies
so you can drink in its vision
to cool the fire in your eyes

Let me take you in my arms
and soothe you with a kiss
So you can feel how much I love you
and calm the fury in your fists

Let me build a roaring fire
I'll use tinder for a start
So you can let the warmth within you
And melt the icicles in your heart

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




IDEAOLOGY


A river of thought
outlets to the oceans of my mind
in which
ships careen
over the brilliant turquoise surface
like galleon bumper cars
Each with the name of the idea they represent
on the mast
They are short-lived though
The raging seas tear them apart

On the beaches of thought
pieces of shipwreck
wash up
like words
like windows
into the once majestic view
of their completeness

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




IDLE THOUGHTS


we drink lemon flavored water
to cure the itch in the back of our throats
like strep throat diseases
these things seem to plague us
even in sleep shadows lie
behind every dreamy corner
and the things we think
at the back of our minds
come out to haunt us

wish we could make it go away
by listening to soft music
or taking our mind off
of the things we were never thinking of
still, sitting, hiding, in the corners
waiting, biding, silently watching
for the right time to jump out
and cry "wolf"
so we'll come running
lambs to the slaughter
of our sanity

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




INANYMITY

I don't want to talk anymore
And no one seems to listen
I just can't say anything right
You all stand and stare
Not that it bothers me so much
But I feel like something's missing
There's a hole in my head where thought used to be
So I forget things, and I forget to remember
And there you are, still staring into me
So my apologies are hollow
They fall on deaf ears
But it's not like you can help it
Because there's still something missing
So I'll stand in the corner
And talk to myself
And I may seem put off
But I'm not
It's just that I know the right things to say
To make myself feel better


Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




INCENSION


Blow you away
Out of sight
Out of mind
Out of my life forever
Make it all that much easier
I don't want to care
Like you don't care
Evaporate and sieve
Not wear your heart on my sleeve
and your face in my mind
Blow this all away
Set a fire
Burn this all away
Exothermic act of re-definition
To make myself more than you ever expected
and nothing more than what I hoped

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




INCREASING SHADES OF BLUE


It begins with a look
from your nebula eyes
across the vast universe of the space between us
or the touch
of your illegal ivory hands
the friction
starts a fire
burns inside me, consuming this moment
and the stars supernova around us
but we can't see out of our eyes
because they've become black holes
transported to this moment
across an endless span of time
was it five minutes
or a year ago
you let me first taste you?

The solar eclipse
disrupts the moon's phases
the waves lap the beach
softly, caressing the sand
you reach your high tide
and the waves begin to grow
higher and higher
before they crash into the shore
sends the seagulls shrieking
into the sky

Breath in these Rainforest breaths
into our desert dry mouths
as the mist crawls up from the plains
and cools our sand-dune bodies
laying in this moment
unable to think
I reach out to you
and find you doing the same

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




INDESCISION & THE WIND


Sitting on a fence
Standing on an edge

The choices before me
Are all spike-lined pits

The chances of me jumping
And landing unscathed
Are the same as the chances of falling
And being destroyed

So I owe it to the wind
I lay my life in her hands
To push me and guide me
To decide my fate

It may not be fair
But when all other choices
Seem like death
The only choice
Is not to choose

So I leave my life in your hands
And I hope
You won't let me fall.

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




ISOSCELES


You see crying as a weakness
You see hurting me as strength
It doesn't matter what I've been through
Because I cry,
I am weak
You deny yourself in the name of power
Tell me that you're stronger than before
and what is my response?
To cry

You're not who you used to be anymore
But I am free enough to cry
You're just a prisoner of your emotions
Pulling hair
Screaming
Holding back tears
I may cry
but you are not strong
You are
shattered
broken
faith
held together by masque-ing tape
Prisoner to yourself
And I am free of you
Free enough
to cry in pity for you

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




I STILL HATE YOU


Sometimes I feel so useless
severe depression anger
with a take with meals label
is this your miracle fix-it?
a fancy bottled pill
or is the confusion I feel inside
part of my own free will

Doesn't really matter
in a week I'll feel the same
and I'll get over it just as easy
because I love the girl you hate
and all I have to say to her is
"Make me feel good again"
and she'll says "Shh it'll be okay"
the only things I ever wanted to hear from you
and I'll smile, because I can walk out of your dark forest
holding her hand
knowing I don't have to go back

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




IT COULD HAVE BEEN EASIER TO LEAVE


So they tell me that you're leaving
but it's hard
You're all choked up
6 years away
3,000 miles long
I can write a lot of letters
and you'll try and write me back
It's bittersweet
We kiss and part
you turn around
say "come with me"
I hesitate
look around
Decide who it is
I'm living for
Turn to say,
Think some more
3,000 years
or 6 miles
is a long time
when you walk where you go
and if in this moment
it must be decided
Then I'll stand here watching
consumed by the flames of the jet taking off
thinking.

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




KIN


I remember the good times
but somewhere it all went bad
I can't trust you to be you
being together always makes us sad
I can't put my finger on
where it all went wrong
I can just point out that it did

When I think about it all
How I gave up one for the other
then lost them both
It makes me feel like giving up
like I can't make any connections
or that it's not worth it
because in the end
we all seem to disappear

I listen too hard
I think too much
and I should probably just let it all go
some advice from beyond the term of our friendships
I remember all of you
and I used to want those good times back
but even if we were together again
I know it would never be the same
not that we've changed so much
but there's an internal switch
and it's been pressed forever between us
As much as I want to hold on to your memory
I think maybe it's time to let it all go
and give our ghosts a chance to rest

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




Landsaway


A bird took off
From it's perch on the wire
Away to other places
Leave this one behind
Far, near, doesn't matter
Pre-ordained destination
Or just winging it
It gets them closer to where they want to be

Birds have no laws to follow
Except gravity
And it's a constant battle
To keep their heads in the clouds

I wish I were a bird
Feel the air on my wings
As I soar through the currents
Feel the warmth of the sun
on my feather-winged back
Birds always look happy
When they're in flight

I saw a bird take off today
to lands away
And I wished I were it
Lands away
From here

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




LASHING OUT


I want you to come back
every day
just to see how I've moved on with my life
and see the look on your face
when you realize I don't need you
because I know you expected me to be stuck on you forever
and fall apart every time I thought about us
and while I still love you in my heart
I want you to see me pretending to be happy
because I want to see you hurting
just as much as I am inside

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




LASTING IMAGES


I am the bridge that will not burn
I am the heart that will not break
I am the love that will not die
I am the handsome man whose love was not fake
I am the blue sparkling in your eyes

but I can be no longer
holding you like a caged butterfly
when all you want is freedom
I have no choice but to let you go
even if it means you never coming back
and in a way, I think that's what it does mean
thus walking away from this
which has imprinted itself so deeply upon my soul as wrong
is the hardest thing I have ever had to do

but I'll survive
live another day
find someone else to bring meaning to my life
or not
because one of the things you've showed me
is that I need to live for myself
and although right now I hate you
I know I'll never forget what you taught me

and my burning, broken heart will heal
and my love for you will fade and die
resurface as a fond memory
and I won't always be a handsome man
and my love may never again be real

but I'll always remember you
I'll always remember your eyes
I'll always remember what was between us
if only for a short time
I'll always remember the blue

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




LEFT BRAIN - RIGHT BRAIN


What if we're wrong?
"It's not possible"
What if we're not right for each other?
"We'll work around that"
What if I don't want to?

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




Legos


I wasn't looking for a relationship
Something about the way you smiled
I couldn't just walk away

I stayed up nights talking
I rode your bus to school
I tried as best I could to please you
Always afraid that it wouldn't be enough

I can't stand to be away from you
I love the way you smell
I love the sweaters that you wear for me
I love the sound of your laughter
You enraptured me in a feeling
Stronger than I've ever known

I only live to please you
I want to be your everything
I love the fullness of your lips
I love the swell of your breast, your hips
I love the shape of your thighs
I love the texture of your hair
I love the color in your eyes
Falling in love was such a suprise

I dream of you every night
I almost worry that I'm obsessing
A love this strong seems like such a cruel joke
Waiting for the other shoe to drop
Knowing in my heart that it won't

I love you with every beat of my heart
I wasn't looking
I wasn't looking
For the perfect peice that I could never find
When I was

Showed up just as soon as I stopped
I wasn't looking
But isn't that wehn you find the most amazing things?

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




LIFE ON EARTH


There is no god but my god
Your idols have no power
These are the ties that bind
refine
Your image of a savior
Until you can see me
I don't want to be messiah
But i can't stop helping
Everyone seeds someone new
and I want to be used
Before I die

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




Life Without


When it's late
And everything I see
Looks like footage from a home movie

When it's too quiet
Except for the settling of wood and metal
And the sounds of resting souls

When the worst ideas come to me
And I fight them off

When I lie in bed with the lights off
Entirely awake

Waiting to hear if you're okay
Waiting to hear anything
Coming to grips with the worst of my fears

When I go through every scenario
And try to feel the emotion of losing you

When I think about not having you there
For the rest of my life

I find I am unable to contemplate
Because now that I've found you
I can't imagine life without

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




LOST


I am lost
a wanderer
upon a familiar road
I can't quite place
I've seen these tree-lined streets before
I just can't remember where

I am lost
Old familiar pathways
become distant
time sits so still
I can see the clouds
rolling their way across the sky

I'm no longer in control
of myself
My actions are made
by some inner robotic force
that is only carrying out orders
for the high command

And it's a very dangerous place to be
lost
behind the wheel
lost
in your thoughts

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




LOVE'S LAST BREATH


I can't help but fall asleep
The smell, your scent, so warm and deep

I feel it now, It seems so real
So hurt me now; I cannot feel

I smell the ink; intoxication
There's no escape from immolation

The smell of blood, drips off my veins
The smell of soil, so cool and plain

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




MECHANICAL SMILE


"Put it on again" she says
While I pretend to look confused
"That smile you always gave me,
Instead of saying 'I love you'"
"That smile you always gave me
that looked and felt sincere."
"What, this?" I ask
and brace myself
smile with every ounce of my face
and not an inch of my heart
"Yes, that's the one."
She smiles and laughs
and slowly walks away
I close my eyes
Inside I cry
Because all she ever came to love
was my mechanical smile

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




MEMORIES IN A TERRI-CLOTH ROBE


The past follows you like shadow
Screeching echoes of yesterdays gloom
And still you walk on
Unwilling or unable
To accept what it wants you to do

You walked into my arms
I tried to take away the pain
I can't reach inside of your soul
You've guarded yourself too well
And it hurts to try
To know I failed
To know there's nothing more I can do
Except hold you sometimes
And let you work it out yourself

And I'm glad
Though inneffective
But willing to try
You still want me around

Your kisses mean everything
Your words, precious jewels
Your voice like hearing symphonies
You smell like beauty smells
And I can't describe how I feel inside
When I see you smile at me

But I always hope that I remember your smile
And I take it with me
Wherever I go
No matter how far
How desolate
How unkind
I shall always have your smile in my head
And your heart
One with mine

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




MIND TUNNELS


a sharp intake of breath
and my mind sets to it's wandering again
I miss you
but things have changed between us
distance, miles
I still love you
but what does that matter?
Our lives are different
two paths on the same road
and even if our destination is the same
it still hurts me right now
so I pour another drink
my underage way of dealing with your loss
my thoughts aren't coherent
they seem to mimic our fights
where nothing made sense
and in the end
we were just happy to be together
I can't be with you right now
and thinking about you just keeps on hurting me
I can't let go
but I have to move on
store you in that secret part of my heart
that I don't let anyone else see
and I'll keep you there
take care of you in my mind
until the world gives me the chance to
take care of you in person.
I just hope you still want me to when the time comes

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




MOMENT OF REFLECTION


I sit under the night sky
a brilliant pitch tapestry
adorned with diamonds
and think upon the year
in a few short moments
it will all be gone
the failures of yesterday
replaced with the hopes of tomorrow
and tonight
I toast the different roads we go on
this year has been a wonderful and crazy ride
and I would not trade a second of what it was
for what I wished it to be
for that was a child's wish
and children's wishes are selfish
but I do wish you luck on your journeys
throughout the world and your soul
and hope you find happiness somewhere along the way
and so
a toast
to age old friends
to a parting of ways
to new beginnings
and to life
and all the wonders and horrors it has in store for us
may we have the strength to face them all
and still walk away

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




Needlepoints


It seems like every day
I'm on the verge of breaking apart
A tiny tear in fabric there
Stitches coming undone
My patchwork pieces fall in patterns on the ground
For no one to pick up
Sew myself back together every night
Doesn't matter how strong a thread I use
I'm pulled apart again

So if you see me hiding in a corner
With a broken smile and a needle
Don't be worried
I'm just mending myself

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




NICCOTINE DEVIL


Like all devils
your purpose is to corrupt
We allow ourselves to believe that you work towards good
because you disguise yourself
and tell us lies
and we believe
We'll put our faith in anything
that promises entertainment
But when the smoke clears away
and we can see clearly
How we've bitten our own fingernails
until they're cracked and bleeding
simply because they taste of your touch
We see how much we've made ourselves need you
and, in a world where everything is working together
to kill us

I light up another tobacco-leaf promise.

I'm tired of fighting.

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




NRT - EULOGY FOR THE LIVING DEAD



You remember
The night we saw the dog die?
You remember
The sound of your fist through glass?
You remember
The last time we talked?
A year ago...

What happened?
Where the hell did you go?
What happened?
I was left behind so long ago

You remember
From which way you came?
You remember
Your own fucking name?
You remember
How much money you spent on that shit?
Nevermind...

Who's your fucking friend now?
Burning ash and salvation is lost
Who's your fucking friend now?
Can't give up? Can't get back.
What, you lost?
So you lost.
I'll see you at the finish line... your grave.

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




Of Meeting And Falling In Love


The memories of bleachers
& cat-paw footprints in cement
By-the-side-of-the-road flowers
I picked them for you

I love the memories I crafted with you
A story to tell our children
My heart aches at the thought of you
And I get nervous everytime we meet somewhere

I miss those days
We went out for ice cream and inkblots
Crystal teddy bear presents
And getting kicked out of bars

I fell in love with you,
You captured my heart.
In the warm embrace of your arms,
It's like the world no longer exists
Only you and I
Living, breathing
Loving each other
Forever

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




ONE OUT OF A MILLION


Never thought it was possible
to get over you
You hurt me so bad
nearly thought of ending my life over the loss of you
but my spirits have been lifted
there's a smile on my face
I didn't just find someone new
find someone to replace
all the good things in my life
that were lost when you left me
I found out
that you're only one out of a million
and there's someone better out there for me

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




One Step From Murder


Repetition
Like chinese water torture
Drives a man to the savage edge
Living under a microscope,
Increasing pressure
As you look closer
Closer

One wrong move
I know they'll never forget
Hatching a plan
To make them regret
Restraint on arms twisted
Bent on revenge

A question of faith
The value of morals
The serenity of patience
Or the satisfaction
Of cutting off
The last broken finger
Of a hand that repeatedly
Gets slammed in the door

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




OVERLOOK


All my life, I had wanted to leave
to find something new
to find something pure, simple
to find love
and thus finding,
Discover life
but you were here the whole time
and I missed that
and in searching abroad, I lost you
and now I'm left with a feeling of loss
and a remembrance of what I once had
and still in my dreams I search for it again
and now, that's all I have left.
To search
and...

and maybe if I'm lucky
find again
what I overlooked in you
once before

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




OVERTHINKING


Am I leaping before I look
or looking too hard
Is this really a life altering decision
seems like it was made long ago
by the likes of which I could never understand
and in trying, i find
more confusion and doubt
which only reinforces
the idea of a second guessing
but instincts are right
most of the time
and I'd be a fool
not to follow this one
so come with me
take my hand
into my arms
and the promised land

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




PASSING BY


I walk down your street again
Stop in front of your house and stare
I wonder what you're doing again
It could have been as perfect as it was in my mind
if you had given me a chance
but you just didn't care
And I never had the heart to let you go

The wind blows fiercely
and the years fly by
like the trashcans that line the street
or pieces of branches that break off in this tempest
rattle like bones as they rain down on the cars

In my mind I've always been standing right here
in this atmosphere
I feel at home
With my wings
and my claws
and my darkness
and I am who I want to be:
Something I don't think you'll ever understand

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




PEASANT-TOIL


The windburn hurts my face
on this winter holiday
running 'round my wheel of fate
These lonely mice will pay the price
for dreaming dreams of envy

Work hard
Till soil
Break earth
Hard as ice
If you can chip away at your soul
a little more each day
you might do well here

If not,
I suggest moving to a warmer climate

Back to Poem List

*BJF



Dedicated to the memory of Nathan.

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




PIECE OF MIND


Patches & Pieces
glinting in the sun
relics & memories
representing a conundrum
Why move on with the past
if you're not done with it?
Why move on from my heart
if you're not gone from it?

Patches & Pieces
on an empty lawn
that fills with dead leaves
The sky darkens
and the wind blows
in the quiet part of my heart and mind
where you will always exist
it starts to rain

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




PISCES


2 Fishes in the ocean
Living in a wave
That's always on a crest
Living on top
Of the crest

Always on the crest
But now I've fallen

Above the Crust
Above the rest
Above the rust
On top of the Crest

And the sunrises were beautiful
And the air was clean
As long as I was with you

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




PLACING THE BLAME


Maybe I never had it all
Maybe my parents are to blame
for never giving me a head start in life
Maybe it was school
where the teachers set us with the example of gliding through life
Like it didn't matter how we turned out

Maybe it was God
who dealt me such a shitty hand in life
Maybe it was the government
who required all my credentials and paperwork before they could act
Maybe it was the pressure
from all the kids that teased me
Made me bitter and cold

And still
Maybe it was my parents
Maybe they could have been more supportive

Maybe it was just life
fucking me over again and again
Maybe I should take all the blame
because, dammit, I could have tried harder.

Maybe I should just give up on trying
Maybe I'm just fucked.

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




POISON THISTLE RODEO


Don't tell me I don't have resolve
I saw the very first crack
months ago
and I still held on
still rode it out
like some poison-thistle rodeo
hold on to that bucking bronco
no matter how much those thorns dug into my hands
I just let the blood flow
It stained my hands an almost beautiful color
perfect in it's archaism

Like the car we had
that always threatened to die
at any moment
but pulled through
almost every time

Like the friendships
we always had
that seemed so meaningless
we fought with them
all the time
cursed them for their ways
and kept on calling them friends

Like how we spent
so much time apart
and kept writing letters
that spoke of an enduring love...
lying to ourselves
because we refused to see reality

Yeah, I knew this wasn't going to last from the start

I just held on anyway
I just wanted to be thrown

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




POSITION WANTED- FRIEND (TEMP)


I'd explain myself to you again
but I'm not sure you'd care
because I know you don't listen

So we exist
simultaneously aloof
sharing space in our life
until we get on each other's nerves again

Still, we hold on
desperately
to this make-believe friendship

I guess because you're lonely
I can't say for sure
Maybe you just like someone there to clean up after you
play mommy
while you play child

As for me
I know I'm lonely
And, sure, I'm only using you for now
until my life comes back from it's semi-permanent vacation
but I don't mind it
and I don't really hide it

You may not be good company...
...but you're better than being lonely

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




POST-SCRIPT IN BLUE INK


"This one will
bring you blue"
she said
looking into my eyes
full of blue
deep azure
haunts our lives
as slowly we
lay, languid
on blue sheets
tired from dancing
it's been our whole lives
gone in an instant
forces us to say
our time together is never
long enough
I lay with you in the grass
on a field, looking up
The sky is a cloudless, perfect,
blue

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




PROMISES OF HOPE


Promises of a future
That exist only in hope

I'll try my best
To live up to your love

Just hold me,
If I don't

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




PROOF OF WORTH


Why do you mean so much
why do I hate you
Four years and all my heart I gave to you
in return for a promise you gave up on
Why couldn't you have given me time?
like the time I gave to you
I waited for years
what seemed like forever
and I can't believe that you're over this so easily
but maybe I can
because I was almost convinced
that you didn't mean a thing
I hid all your pictures
I sold all your things
but I wasn't that thorough
because I found something today
a picture of you
on the last day we talked
and it brings it all back
you were never really gone
you were just out of sight
out of mind
If I thought that I could bring you back
by making you look at me
then I'd fly a million miles just to prove it to you
No matter what you say now
I know I didn't mean nothing to you

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




PSYCHOLOGICAL MEDICATION


Feed me dripping yellow custard
from a dead dogs eye
To cure the disease
You believe I have

(Dig Deeper old man, you'll find me there)

Inject the infection
you spread through my mind
the oozing insanity
that's making me blind
the power of suggestion
you put into me
I'm changing into you
but you don't like what you see

(Dig deeper old man, you'll find me there)

As I unearth myself
amidst your twisted excavation
seems more like you're sculpting me
into what you want
but you can't change what I'm made of
and still you wonder
at my resistance

(Dig deeper old man, you won't find me there)

You keep digging
even as I walk away
I tell you it's useless
but my words are as empty as your actions
And still you keep digging
but you'll never find me
in that snake hole you've created
out of your suspicions
because I got tired of being dead
long before you knew where to dig

(Dig forever old man, I've nothing left to fear)

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




RACE TO HEAVEN


You took off without me
I thought this life was supposed to be fair
This race to Heaven
ends instead of begins
with a gunshot
Why are you running so fast?
We've got all the time in the world
All the time in the world
And I wish you were a tortoise
and I was a hare
I could stop and wait for you
While you pretended to care

This race to heaven
I don't know the way
and I don't want to win
Why can't we just help each other
cross the finish line at the same time
We could win at the same time
but you run so fast
are you running from me
or towards a heaven
you may never live to see?

We could have made it all the way to love and back
We could have had happiness in our hands
but you washed me off like dirt under the pouring rain
We could have made our own little heaven
our own little heaven
But you run so fast

I was your mon petit angel
mon petit angel
But you run so fast
We've got all the time in the world
all the time in the world
But you ran so fast

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




REFLECTING POOL


My countenance
so full of life
sends dripping poison
down my face
in blood-red swirls
spinning darkly
counterclockwise
mocking me
my gums are bleeding
rotting teeth
tooth decay
so effervescent
Upon my cheek
stubble and scratch
but blood-red swirls
know none of that
mirror,
mirror,
tell me please
what the hell is happening to me
Falling pieces
Fragment thought
lost in sinking
as I
drip,
drip,
drip,
away
no tourniquet to save me
I stand before a perfect reflection
a shattered human temple
as droplets of my faith
swirl down the drain

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




REFUSAL TO GO THERE AGAIN


So tempting to make new promises
I know I can't keep
because I couldn't keep the old ones I made before
but a voice inside
sounding suspiciously like you
urges me forward
toward
destruction of a sort
someone to hurt
like you felt hurt
and hurting me wasn't enough
revenge is a dish I never would have served
but you can't seem to get enough of it
and that lives on through me
I can resist
but I can not feel
because it takes all the love I have for you
to stop myself from hurting;
to hold you at bay;
to stop you from destroying my mind again

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




RESPONSE TO A BIGOT


I know I'm right
I just can't prove it
Not to you
Who won't listen to my words
But you speak of ignorance
Like you're immune to it
You declare your supremacy
Over all other races
While cutting up the Nazis
So I think I figured you out
That your jealousy is your armor
and you're just upset
Because I tell the truth
Because I am a mirror
That shows you
The false tone in your voice
Your phantom arguments
I'm the one who points out
The black streak in your soul
And all the other things
You know but don't admit
And maybe you only criticize Hitler
For not getting it right

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




REVELATION ON A PARTING OF WAYS


Do we say hello just to say goodbye again?
Do we settle in just to change locale?
Makes me wonder what this life's worth
if there's no way to quantify it

I'm just so goddamn sad.
I feel such a goddamned fool
to take away everything she ever wanted
twist it to my own
needs
wants
desires
and spit it back out
like a bad dream she had
where she lost everything
but I know I took it
and never gave
a second thought to her
and now she's gone
and goddammit,
I'm lonely again.

But I hope she's happy.

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




REVERBERATION


Bleed me dry for answers
Cut me apart just to see my bones
A skeletal image of a man in ruin
and rising up from my ashes
A new me
stronger, smarter
with a little bit of heartache to feed on
Dissect me from inside out
Fix my broken heart
Fit the puzzle-pieces of my mind back together
remove the scars that surround me
and there you have it
nothing
but something more
There's a magic in my eyes
can you see it?
Amidst the lies
that surround me
like a cloud of dust
I breathe it in
destroy my lungs
Or maybe it's not there at all
Take a hot shower
wash away the scars
Clear my head
forget about my broken heart
and maybe there's some hope out there
Maybe there's something more from life to glean
Maybe there's just another you
or maybe there's just more for me

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




Revisiting


The light shines on your pedestal
while the rest of the world crumbles to the ground
the one thing you denied you ever wanted
seemed to fill you so completely
in a way all my efforts never could

How Can I feel compassion for your wicked, evil ways
why must I say sorry when you're the one who goes away
I do/don't feel what's going wrong
what everyone else seems to see
living in the eye of the hurricane
abuse is hard to believe

Growing up and growing old
just aren't the same - without you, my anchor
others fade and disappear
your memories stay vivid in my mind's eye
As hard as I tried to hold on to what we had
I always knew the beast could never be tamed

Now gone, you leave a trail of tears
a river of denial that I could follow
if I could swim through the guilt
that pushes me away like a fish swimming upstream
Instead, I drown in sorrow
at the futility of chasing after you

and still you run like a horrified child
not looking back on the past
everything that has made you who you are
that's brought you where you are today
I understand you need to hate it
if you accepted yourself
you wouldn't be the girl I fell in love with

That somehow makes it all the more harder
knowing that you've never changed
I let go a long time ago
but love never let go of me

I see you in your new life
almost exactly the same as your old
I picture him almost just like me
we'd probably be good friends
but we'll never even meet
you shut the door on me
and now all I can do is look in on your world
when I get tired of mine
imagine how different things might have been
If I had never come home for Christmas that year
If I had never come back for you

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




RIP VAN WINKLE 2000


I went to sleep one night
and when I woke
the world had changed
political correctness ruled the earth
and the things I was so used to
had vanished into thin air
my morals were outdated
my feelings obsolete
because now everything is expressed
by little smiley faces
and heart shaped icons
and people don't fight
they just disagree
the feeling has been drained
right out of me
Once upon a time
when people talked
when people fought
they had to think
they had to feel
and now
everything has come down
to letters on a keypad
and the blast of a gun
and this virtual reality
seems more fake than what I used to have

I go outside
walk half a mile
past the cars and the metal
I can't see the sky
there's too much smog
and all the plants are dead
because the concrete's taken over
I stop and I sigh
wonder aloud "why?"
where has everything gone?
The things that I knew
the feelings I love
but then in the sky
comes a light from above

the things you seek
are not so common
people reject them
they prefer their safe world
where they will not get bitten by bugs
where they will not get burned by the sun
but it rots their minds, their teeth and their eyes
as they bask in the light of their televisions
but someday soon this will all be gone
and then they won't know what to do

my mind done it's ranting,
I continue to walk
down west line and fifth avenue
and there on the corner through the cracks in the street
grows a rose heavenly, plain but in view
and rather than pick it,
I stoop down and sniff it
and walk away feeling brand new

Back to Poem List

*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




ROMANCE INSPIRED INSOMNIA


At night I have trouble going right to sleep
I like to sit around for a while.
read
think
I'm never satisfied

What comes in colors
shafts of light
reluctantly staring
into myself
waiting to dream
not wanting to waste
another moment waiting

I'd dream all day if I could
Just sleep my life away
I'd say it's depression
but my dreams are amazing
I'm sad when I wake up
because I can't dream awake
Maybe it is depression
I don't want to dream
I'm tired of looking forward to lies
I just want to
sleep next to you again

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




ROOT CELLAR


I remember who I used to want to be
living alone
all those quiet nights silently passing me by
and in my obsession
not caring one way or another
just focused
on that one pure action
I hoped would bring me to salvation

I look back now
into reflections of broken mirrors
down a dark scattered hallway
somewhere in the darkness is my past
but I couldn't tell you where it begins
or ends
or if it exists at all
I just can't remember anymore

I'm scared to go down that hallway
the dark stone passage
the cold seeping through the walls
the wind flickering the torches like
a mouth breathing in and out
I tried once, and cut myself on all the broken glass
I haven't been back that way since

There's too much to remember
and too much to forget
and so I built a doorway with my mind
and stepped into a new corridor of my life
and now this, too, has become vile
and I don't want to look into the end of it anymore
It's time to go back and face it all

I got myself a pair of boots this time
Old Italian leather, the kind I've always wanted
the glass didn't bother me this time
it had become dull and empty, and the cold air that scared me like breath
was gone
and bit by bit it all flowed back to me
who I am
what I was
my past

I am whole again now
and these passageways are bigger than I expected
but now that I see what I've gone through to get here
and how I've lived in the past
I don't fear the future anymore
I don't fear my life without you anymore

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




ROOTS


The particles move so slowly
Species die with time
Soon we'll all be extinct
A mass of bones & brine
She feeds me like a dead fish
She's cold and slips away
And the memories that we shared
slowly start to fade

I never knew just what to think
When I had to face that day

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




RUNNERS


In Africa, I heard
there used to be runners
People who delivered messages across miles
by running
Hundreds of miles
They didn't even wear Reeboks
Or Adidas gym shorts
They ran naked

I wonder what they'll do
when the world discovers them
And gives them it's gifts
Trucks and telephones
I wonder if they'll mourn
I wonder if they'll sit down
in ergonomically correct chairs
and take a rest

I wonder if they'll keep
on running
just because they like it

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




SCIENCE EXPERIMENT


The test
a drop of water
on a piece of magnesium
to get a reaction
but fire fades away
into a billowing milky white smoke
and now I have nothing
because I wanted to see some sparks
A test of love
to she who has been patient
I was hoping to find a secret
she had hidden from me
instead I find a guilt trip
plaguing me this night
and to think my test
based on waters uncharted
and conpsiracies unfounded
was all so I could see
a few tiny sparks

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




SCRATCH & BLEED


I know something's wrong
but I feel something right
As I listen to you crying
In the middle of the night

Come back to me
And unleash your fears
I'll tackle them all
And I'll wipe away your tears

Just tell me whats wrong
Don't keep it in your heart
Cause I wanna stop your suffering
You're my precious piece of art

You say nothings wrong
But nothing feels right
And you cry when you're sleeping
In the middle of the night

And these lies perpetuate
Feeding this rift
While the space grows between us
And our loyalties shift

This malignant growth
Spreads like cancer
Drives us apart
But we stay together

It feeds off the look in your eyes
That bewitching stare
As you think of someone else
While fixing your hair

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




SECOND DAY IN PURGATORY


If you never forgive me
it's like I need to die to start back over
like some bad video game
the kind I never liked to play
If I can't be forgiven
then why even try to live up to your expectations?

Do you need to be hurt to keep on feeling?

I fell like I've been dipped in an ice covered lake
just thrown through the crust
caught in the current
and what I need
really isn't the point
or what I want

I just like to pretend
I have a choice

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




SEDIMENTARY THOUGHT


Is this a real or imagined lack of faith you have in me

Is it so simple?
Your own place
Your own life
From this all is twisted
Bent to such a simple desire

All I ever wanted was love
Support
A family
And I scorn you because
that's all you provide
But I wanted it from the start
and I can't forgive myself
for not seeing that you were the one
until too late

How much have I missed?

I'm running to keep up
but I think I'll be running
forever at the rate you're leaving me behind

It may be a useless waste of time
but I enjoy it

We work the same
We work alone

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




SELF-DESTRUCTION AS AN INCENTIVE


Give me a reason to get up in the morning
Give me a reason to willingly walk away from my illusions of grandeur
that infest me while I'm unconscious
Give me a reason to do something other than lie in bed for the next 12 hours
and dream about you
Give me a reason to get off my ass
and do something worthwhile for a change
Give me a reason to feel alive like I used to
Give me a reason to do something other than hide in my dreams
Hide under my covers
Give me a reason to keep waiting for you
Rather than move on
Give me a reason to look forward to seeing you again
because right now, I don't think I want to.

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




SELF RE-ASSURANCE


What's the point in dreaming
if you don't have any friends?
I left you behind so long ago...
What can I say in defense?
Of the actions I've taken
so far I've mistaken
Your love for just infatuation
Pleading to Jesus
on my knees
but who needs us?

A couple
such trouble
Is it worth it?
Nobody's perfect
and the more we try
seems the more we cry
These tears are misleading
when doubts they keep feeding
so why not just brave it
just come out and say it

I've fucked up before
I won't do it again
Another simple promise?
A way out of this mess?
How can I prove it
"Don't know, but just do it."
Show you I mean well?
Maybe we're not equal..
and deserving or not
I can make it all up
If I stop promising the world
and just start delivering

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




SENSORY DECEPTION


I don't understand
how you can be so happy and sad
all at the same time
you say it's okay
but I feel that you lie
truth is not truthful
suspicions overrule
any good sense I might have
has been lost before you
I can't trust my senses
I can't believe my ears
it's like my mind knows what I want
and my mouths just one of the gears

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




SERENADE


Hey Princess
Where are you?
I'm not a knight in shining armor
but I can be a handsome man
and instead of courting
sweep you off your feet
with the sparkle in my eyes
And I can't promise happiness
from a life filled with riches
but I can love your for a lifetime...
Tell me
What is that worth to you?

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*BJF

All work property of SidWreck © 2001-2003 Sidwreck *BJF




SHATTERED MIRROR


Don't talk to me
It's all right
I can't see how bleeding here is helping anyway
Wish I could crush it all away
Believe me,
hurt like this can't last any longer than a year
2 days in February and a kiss in May
Moving to Maryland was nothing when you think about it
I'm stuck on you
until the end of time
Get over yourself
or out of my mind
Don't talk to me
It's all right
I'm dying anyway